Wednesday, December 5, 2007


As I was cleaning the kitchen the other night, I overheard this conversation:

Jonathan (6), whining: "No, I don't want to wear those pajamas!"
Michael (8), soothingly: "But you look good in them..."
J: "I can't do the buttons."
M, helpfully: "I'll do them for you."
J: "But what if they come undone in the middle of the night?"
M: "Then I'll button them up for you."
J: " do I look?"
M: "You look great!"

Me: "Sigh..."


This morning on the way to school, my six year old Jonathan was making up a song and singing "Sugar bug, sugar bug...(something, something, something)".

My eight year old Michael decided to join in and change it to "Jitter bug, jitter bug...(etc.)."

So Jonathan, then, using all his rhyming skills and ability to make up knew words began singing "Sh...tterbug, sh...tterbug...." So instead of trying to explain, "no, that's something you have when you are sick", I just nipped that bug in the bud right there.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Six Year Old on Digestion

"Mom, I'm just not hungry this morning because the food I ate last stomach has not starved it up yet." - Jonathan (6)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

August Update

I've had writer's paralysis for weeks now because I had not written for a while, then I went to the south and back, and now there has been so much that has occurred since the last post that I am overwhelmed with events that were not shared and may be forgotten now. Should I move on or try to remember all the cute and clever things my kids have said or funny things that have happened?

Hmm...the south...flew down with just the kids to visit mom and dad, my brother and his wife and 4 kids (2 of which were 3-4 week old twin baby girls...really cool to see them), and my BFF CDJ and her fam (this visit entailed probably the most harrowing events of the trip since on the drive over, I sat in 30 minutes of stand still traffic on I-20 because of a wreck and once I got past that, several pieces of old lumber flew off some guy's trailer that hit my dad's minivan, and then I drove the last hour in pouring rain. On the drive home I spent at least an hour and half in torrential rain in which I had to use my hazards so that other cars would see me since I could not see them.) We stayed in in the south about 12 days including travel days. During our stay, it rained ALOT (as I have already alluded to) and only got in the 80's until our last couple of days. This was a welcome relief compared to the hot dry summer and fires we were having up north. We swam at a few pools, ate at numerous restaurants, and watched what seemed like endless hours of game show television. We visited another (our 3rd) flight museum and saw more World War 2 airplanes. I think I'm done. I'm ready for Michael (8) to move on to something else. And I think he has....

When we returned from the south, our house guests for the next year were already here. DH's youngest brother and his fiance are going to work and go to school while staying with us. The kid's are thrilled, of course, to have an uncle here. I'm not so sure the uncle is as thrilled to have the kids here. But there is a new passion in the house. Football. They play football outside, watch football on TV and the news, and play football on the XBOX. I can live with football for a while. It's a nice change of pace from war planes and history channel.

So that's where I am right now...anticipating a visit from the rest of husband's fam this next week and getting ready for school and sports to start.

Friday, July 20, 2007

No Food For Two Weeks

Jonathan has the high kick!
Last Tuesday, both boys got in trouble in Taekwando class. This means that they repeatedly misbehaved (which includes not listening to instructions, playing around and distracting others, showing disrespect to the instructor, etc.). The consequence is putting your name on the board. If your name is on the board at the end of class, then you have to do 10-20 pushups for your parent before you leave.

This was not the first time Jonathan (5) has had to do the pushups, but I think the first for Michael (8). I did not witness their misbehavior since I was sitting outside on a bench reading. Michael came and got me and said I have to come inside. I hate that. I feel like I'm the one in trouble. So therefore, pushups were not all they were going to have to suffer through.

On the way home I asked them to tell me what happened. They each in turn told me they couldn't remember, however, Jonathan re-enacted Michael with a big sigh and rolling eyes to a tee (which translates to disrespect to the instructor when given instructions), and I already had a hunch what Jonathan had done (his usual loud antics and messing around probably).

After I got the information, I did not follow up with the usual...umm, yelling and lecturing..., but I calmly informed them there would be no electronics in their future until Friday. This included TV, XBOX, computer games, and hand-held devices.

Oh, my gosh, you would have thought I said I wouldn't feed them for two weeks. They started arguing and debating why the consequence was going to be so horrible. I then calmly informed them that they were about to lose all speaking priviledges too. I'm not sure how I was going to enforce that so I was glad they suddenly got quiet. I went ahead and gave them the lecture the rest of the way home, just to clarify why they were getting the consequence they were getting.

So for the last few days, my house has been extremely quiet. I myself have had to refrain from turning on the TV during the day since I told them the only time they would be allowed to watch was if daddy or I were watching something but that they could not request anything. So they have had to get their TV fix from the news in the evening. (We couldn't watch Myth Busters, though, or several other shows on Discovery or History Channel since they actually like those shows too much.)

It was nice. We worked puzzles, the boys played with the Erector set and Legos, they built a fort in their room, they composed a song on the piano, they looked at and read books, and they laid on the couch looking at the ceiling or took a nap. It all reminded me of the way we used to entertain ourselves as kids. We had to get creative sometimes. Of course there was always the little complaint now and then of "I'm bored" for which they got to do more pushups.

Today the TV and XBOX are back on. I'm a little sad. Unfortunately, their behavior and attitude at Taekwando last night were perfect. They both gave 100% without complaint. So I'm having to watch for another chance to give them the consequence again.

I doubt I will have to wait too long. They are boys.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Could It Have Been That Long?

I sat down to blog again and looked at the date of the last one. Over a month ago. That is sad. It's not that I have nothing to write about, but it's just that I never seem to have time. And then I read my friend CDJ's blog (she writes that I am busy and that is the reason I am a sporatic blogger) and realize actually I'm just lazy. I'm always in awe of how much she seems to get done in a day (or week, or month).

Anyway, I'll try to get everyone caught up. School has been out since June 6th and baseball games and all other team sports have been over since last Wednesday. Now we are just down to Taekwando two days a week.

So far since the end of school, we have been on a last minute trip to the northeast to visit family, we have camped at the lake, we have gone to the airport on the hottest day so far (96 degrees) and stood on the tarmack for 2.5 hours looking at three World War II bombers (part of the time was spent waiting for them to arrive, watching them land, as well as climbing through them), we threw Michael (7) a water gun fight themed birthday party with friends, we (Jonathan (5) and I) have gone to a Senior Pro Rodeo in Hamilton (old guys riding bulls and bareback, etc.), we have golfed (DH and I), and we have floated the river. In between times, I do laundry, clean, take the kids to the pool, mess in the flower garden, and do church stuff. Sometimes I work. And sometimes I don't.

Jonathan (5) sleeping at the airport while DH gets the rental car. Our flight got in close to midnight. He stayed asleep while we untangled him from the chairs and carried him to the hotel.

Jonathan (5) and his cousin playing around before breakfast at the lake.

Kids in front of the B24. Michael (7) has a passion for World War II planes and history. He managed to impress the old guys with his knowledge of the airplanes.

Michael (7) during his water gun fight birthday party. What a handsome young man.

Jonathan (5) and I at the rodeo. The boy has a passion for all things cowboy, from music to horses to wrangler western wear. And yes, a rare photo of his mom. He kept trying to get me to sit away from him after someone teased him that I was his date. I think he wanted to make sure all the cute, blond, 4 year olds knew he was available. And who could resist him?

And mah flowahs. The kids said Nana wanted to see them.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

This Week's Recap

I've meant to blog all week. So here it is.

Sunday, Mother's Day: I proudly wore my Mother's Day gift from Michael (7) to church, a one-of-a-kind volcano and fireball necklace that he made in school. I got many compliments. Right after church we went to two soccer games and then DH mowed his grandpa's yard. Then we had Wendy's take-out and that was it.

Monday: I took care of the baby and Jonathan (5) helped. He sang "Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sle-eep little Am-a-lee", a Jonathan original.

Tuesday: I put together a couple of concepts for a website I've been hired to do. Both kids were at school. After work, DH threw the baseball with Michael for what seemed over an hour. He is improving.

Wednesday: DH took Michael to school before Jonathan even woke up. While he was still sleeping, I went outside and the weather seemed great. I witnessed an all-out national geographic cat chase/fight. I could hear the resident woodpecker. Nature was calling me to get some outdoor chores done. I decided to pull weeds. Jonathan finally emerged from the house. We spent the rest of the morning in the yard together. I would give him any worms I found, and he would play with them for a bit before burying them again.

At one point a robin landed quite close to us pecking around for insects and worms. We sat very still and it got so close that it snatched up one of the worms Jonathan had just buried and ate it in front of us. We discussed how she was probably going to go feed her babies. After about 3 hours I decided we had worked hard enough so we went inside.

That evening, Michael had a baseball game and hit the ball and got on base 3 times during the game and made it around the bases once. His last time up to bat, a freak wind storm came through. I was running for cover, but it didn't even phase him...he hit the ball and got on base. He's a lot tougher than I am. This same evening Jonathan had soccer practice and then his first T-ball game. So here's the funny thing. Jonathan was up to bat at the same time Michael was during that freak windstorm just one field diagonal from us. He also got a hit (not using the T).

In the middle of the night things started getting weird for me. My muscles were on fire and I couldn't sleep. I ended up tossing and turning on the couch and I think allergies triggered from the wind were making me feel slightly sick.

Thursday: I took Tylenol for my muscle aches since I was supposed to watch the baby (not my regular day). She had a cold and couldn't get comfortable, and I had been up all night and was not feeling 100%. She needed much nurturing and I just needed a nap. Her mom came for her 10:00 am meal and decided to take her to back to work with her. I felt bad, but I felt bad. I went to bed. That night I sat outside through another baseball game. I took Tylenol PM for the muscle aches, but ended up being awake most of the night with a queasy stomach.

Friday: I called early to cancel the baby sitting since I felt like I was going to hurl. DH realized after he got ready for work that I wasn't going to get out of bed and get the kids ready and take them to school. I think I just figured I'd let them stay home. He took it upon himself to get them dressed, fed, pack there lunches and took them to school without saying a word to me. God bless him, because I finally made the mad dash to the bathroom. Nothing was in my stomach, but I felt better and slept all morning. I was afraid to eat much, so I was tired and weak the rest of the day. I ate a little dinner and slept great.

Saturday: I woke up early, feeling great. DH coached Michael's soccer practice and then we had another overlapping baseball and t-ball game. The weather was great at the beginning but got cool and windy toward the end. My allergies, again, were all messed up and I felt sick the rest of the day. I didn't sleep much last night. But got a lot of good Bible reading and praying done on the couch.

Sunday (today): Must have been feeling emotional from the week so I had a girl moment in front of the whole church while singing with the praise team. Nice and humiliating.

I find the best way to avoid some of that is not think about the words while I'm singing. Today, of course, I let my guard down and listened to what I was singing. It was "We Will Dance" which has become one of my favorite songs and sometimes, after you have one of those weeks, you just can't help yourself looking forward to The Day. Here are the words:

Sing a song of celebration
Lift up a shout of praise
For the Bridegroom will come
The glorious One
And oh, we will look on His face
We’ll go to a much better place

Dance with all your might
Lift up your hands and clap for joy
The time’s drawing near
When He will appear
And oh, we will stand by His side
A strong, pure, spotless bride

We will dance on the streets that are golden
The glorious bride and the great Son of man
From every tongue and tribe and nation
Will join in the song of the Lamb

Copyright © 1993 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing. All rights reserved.
International copyright secured.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

The Business Plan

Today in the car on the way home, the kids outlined a business plan for when they grow up.

They are disappointed that their XBOX game "Battlestations Midway" won't allow for more than one player unless you play online (which they are NOT allowed to do). So in order to remedy the situation, they have planned to create their own "XBOX factory" where they would design a better "Battlestations Midway" in which you could play several people at a time.

Michael (7) said he would be the boss since he is the oldest and run the company which would have 1000 workers. He would give orders to Jonathan (5) who agreed and said he, Jonathan, would be the engineer to build the factory building as well as the manager in charge of making white controllers. (Jonathan is on an "engineer" kick and has asked about what all engineers do because he wants to be one...however, since there are so many different kinds of engineers, he is having trouble narrowing it down).

Michael said he would be in charge of making colored controllers. And the game would have 21 levels with some easier ones for 5 year olds (the game has been hard for Jonathan to learn).

I guess the next step is to go to the bank for a loan.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


I just sat down to write and there was a big thump over head. I just about jumped out of my skin. The boys are wrestling in the living room and my "office" is directly beneath.

I'm actually not really sure what I'm going to write about. Every now and then, I have an idea that I think it might be fun to share with someone or the kid's have a funny or not so funny moment that I think, "I need to blog that". However, when I get a chance to sit down, I draw a blank.

Even so, I will start with the latest. Today Michael got in trouble at school again for being apart of a group that was teasing another kid. We had the talk about what if it were you. You need to think before you act or speak to make sure you are not hurting someone else. This is part of becoming a grown up, etc. But to tell you the truth, at this point (this being the third time he along with other kids have gotten in trouble at school within the last two weeks), I'm just ready to chalk it up to end of the school ants-in-his-pants and hope that summer will take care of some of it.

Speaking of trouble, I got pulled aside by a teacher yesterday when picking Jonathan up so she could tell me about this huge tantrum he had that day. Something about he wanted to play with P-- but T-- beat him to him. He is one of three boys who play together all day. But sometimes when two want to do something and the other one doesn't, it becomes a competition. Fortunately, she said that was his only problem that day and the rest of the day was great.

So that was today and Tuesday. Oh yeah, on Monday Michael got 3 for 3 hits at his baseball game and made it around the bases once to score. (This is not a homerun, mind you. It usually takes about 3-4 kids coming up to bat for one person to clear home plate.) I overheard a dugout conversation. One kid took a poll of who was wearing a cup. There is one girl on the team.

Which brings up another little story, Michael does not wear a cup yet. We put him in one the first night (the store had large and regular, so I bought regular). It was way out of proportion for his small frame. He was standing in right field dancing his hips around, bouncing that bulge in front of him all over the place. It was really funny. I also heard a story of one kid who proudly wore his to school when he first got one. Michael didn't request that, thank goodness.

While Michael was playing baseball, Jonathan had rounded up about 5 other little boys to play with. Since he was the oldest, he became a little bossy telling everyone what to do, deciding who could come in (they had taken over a little green shack behind home plate), etc. I had to remind him that this was not an exclusive club and that anyone who wants to play, could play.

Sunday, after church, I sat through two soccer games (an hour each) in a tank top and got so burned that I am just today turning from red to brown. It was completely hot through both games, but as soon as the last game was over, a cloud moved over the sun and I had to put a blanket around me. Weird weather.

Well, that's about it. We go and do it all again tonight. Jonathan has soccer practice and Michael has baseball, both at 5:30. I'm so glad I remembered to put the roast in the crockpot at noon. It smells so good! And will taste great at 7:30 when we all get home.

Later Gator.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

This Is For The Grandmas

Hello Grandmas,

I'm sorry I have not been blogging about the kids lately. I almost forgot I had a blog. (I'm definitely a short term project girl.) So here we go again, a new attempt to create an old habit. I just need to make myself sit down and type something into this thing.

So let's talk about Michael:

  • 7 year old body with a 12 year old 'tude (attitude to the lay person)
  • Currently playing baseball with little league for the first time. He has gotten at least two hits and made it around the bases at least once that I know of.
  • Also currently playing soccer (daddy is the coach).
  • Still fired up about anything that has to do with military planes - "Dogfights" on history channel is a must see almost everyday (thanks to DVR), as well as, the periodic playing of "Battle Stations" on the XBOX
  • Has discovered a new hobby: putting together model airplanes
  • Loves to read chapter books
  • Loves to debate and negotiate with just about any adult offering him advice or instruction; not just his parents - this includes coaches and teachers. Nana, I'm guessing this probably brings back fond memories of DH as a child. Last night, Michael's baseball coach actually asked if his dad is a lawyer. I said "yes", but I must have had a confused look on my face as to why he was asking. He proceeded to hint about Michael's desire to negotiate every instruction given to him before actually performing the task.
  • Continues to be Jonathan's best friend while bordering on trying to "father" him. He likes to pass on rules that he himself has been given and impose them on Jonathan. While he may not adhere to the rule, he will always instruct Jonathan on correct behavior or duty.
  • Continues to do well in school, seems to like math the most.
  • Has been in his first fight that I know of over a soccer game on the playground. He said it was self-defense. I got called by the school staff.
  • Has many friends at school, but not really one best friend. He has a standard group of boys that he hangs around and has been to other kid's houses as well as having friends over to his house. He tends to like to boss and not be pushed around. He likes to be silly and make his friends laugh. They laugh, however, the teachers don't. He's having to learn to read his audience.
  • Michael is quietly interested in girls. He denies vehemently that there are no cute girls in his class, but he does act embarrassed and flustered when mentioning a girl in third grade named D--. Don't tell him I told you this.
Ok, and now Jonathan:
  • 5 years old and full of passion for just about everything he tries.
  • Seems to be moving on from his fixation with Star Wars toys and XBOX games and has most recently been pretending to be Spiderman. He still loves to dress up in his various Halloween costumes. We never throw one out.
  • Loves, loves, loves animals.
  • Is very caring and gentle around the 6 month old baby that I care for on Mondays and Fridays. Likes to entertain her by slapstick comedy (falling down). It seems to make her smile and laugh.
  • Still loves to sing and "play" his guitar. He is requesting lessons, so I have acquired a list of guitar instructors to call. He occasionally sings up front with the praise team with me in church.
  • Loved taekwando lessons that they had in preschool and is requesting more.
  • Currently playing soccer. He scored his first goal last week and had the greatest reaction. He was just so excited. He strutted around. Wish ya'll could have seen it.
  • He will start T-ball probably in May.
  • His last day of preschool will be May 31st and then it is on to kindergarten next fall. He is so ready. He can't wait to be at Michael's school. His best friend from preschool will also be attending and he has made friends with most of Michael's friends. They sort of treat him like a pet when he is around. His old preschool "girlfriend" that he is "going to marry" whom he still professes to love and still gets "ga-ga" eyes when he mentions her is also at this school and will be in first grade. However, she may have moved on to other "love" interests.
I'll have to add more later. It's hard to get my brain to remember things these days. But as you can see, DH and I spend a lot of time at practices and games. DH works 8-5 away from home as well as serving on various boards after work or attending meetings or Bible studies before.

I just sit around now and eat bon-bons and take naps...just kidding (at least I hope you think I'm kidding!). I do some website design and management jobs here and there that I get paid for as well as various websites that I have volunteered to design and/or manage. Maybe eventually I will pursue more paying design and managing work. The rest of my time is typical mom "work", cleaning up after everyone, laundry, groceries, yard work, managing the finances, and of course, chauffeur.

So there is my first attempt at a run-of-the-mill, "this is what we are doing today" post. Hope you didn't fall asleep.

We love our grandmas!

Friday, March 9, 2007

The Big Debut

At five years old, Jonathan sang his first solo performance in a microphone for an audience of peers and their parents tonight. Or I guess I should say giggled and laughed his first solo performance. He said he did this because he was nervous.

But you could also tell he loved it. He loved being the center of attention and having everyone listen to him. He loved singing his favorite song "Self Control" from the Music Machine Fruits of the Spirit CD. He loved hearing everyone clap for him. And then you should have seen him strut around like he owned the room and knew he was the star of the show.

And to top it off (I have to brag here), the lead singer from one of our most popular country bands in town made it a point to track me down and tell me how unusual it is for a child his age to be able to sing on key. Most kids, he says, sing flat, but Jonathan sings on key.

Needless to say, I was quite proud and wanted to stay and chat with the guy giving kudos to my talented son, but I had to excuse myself in order to divert Jonathan from the potluck table where he was devouring a bag of Doritos by himself.

Rock stars...they think they can get away with anything.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I Tried Raising My Hand During Worship Once

In regard to raising my hand while singing in church...I did try it...once.

I had just returned from a Women of Faith retreat. Two days of continuously singing praise songs mixed with inspirational messages. So the next day at church I was singing with the praise team up front and I thought, Why not?

Therefore, as I was singing with my eyes closed, I raised up my hand. Now I must have stunned God since he knew I might not ever try it again. So He took that opportunity to rain down some extra living water. Literally, I'm bawling in front of the whole church. Obviously, I can't sing anymore. So I'm relegated to bowing my head and praying...not a bad thing, but not planned. And no, my hand was not up anymore.

My pastor/worship leader was, of course, elated. Emotional displays during church are proof to him that the Holy Spirit officially manifested himself. He could be right, but I wouldn't consider that the only sign.

P.S. You should know, although I can't always control when the tears will flow, that I really hate crying in front of people. Not necessarily because I'm afraid of them knowing something is wrong or that something has touched my heart, but for a much more vain reason.

I am not attractive when I cry, bordering on ugly. My nose immediately turns hot and red before any tears show up. And then when the tears do eek out, they burn and my eyes turn into little red, puffy slits. Not exactly the look I'm going for. But certainly a humble one. Who can have pride in their heart when looking like that?

Speaking of pride...

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Outside My Comfort Zone

I officially accepted Jesus Christ into my life at the age of 6. Officially, yes. However, it has taken many ups and downs, a life of two steps forward and one step back, getting on and off the fence, being lukewarm and then hot again to get me to where I am today. Not the perfect Christian by a long shot, but I am sure of my salvation and where my help comes from. And while I still struggle with the daily doubts and unbelief that God can and will do all he says in the scripture that he wants to do in my life, down deep, due to what Jesus did at the cross and the Holy Spirit that now lives in me, I always have an overriding sense of faith, assurance, and hope. Those of you who also have been sealed by the Spirit will agree that this does not come from ourselves, but is a generous gift from God to feel this way when there is so much that seems hopeless around us.

I'm not saying I have always felt this way, I'm just saying this is the point to which I have been taken in the journey. So, in general, I consider myself spiritual. A true worshipper of God. And when I pray, whether I emotionally sense it or not (usually because I'm not getting an immediate answer or resolution to my concern), I know down deep God is listening and will carry out the best plan for me. And when I sing songs to or about him, either on or off key, I know he appreciates the effort.

However, I have never been comfortable with outward displays of worship that I have control of such as holding up my hands while singing or shouting out "amen" or whatever during the sermon (crying is a different story). And even though I may feel it and believe it, I've never been comfortable in daily conversation, except on rare occasions, to interlace my sentences with phrases like "glory to God" or "praise God", etc.

And now there is a new form (new to me) of singing in church that is called "free praise" where you just sing random melodies and words of praise over the top of what everyone else is singing. Obviously, this is not in my comfort zone either. For me it borders on disorder and chaos if more than one person (holding a microphone) is doing it. My spirit does not feel at peace, and I feel anxious. I probably feel very much like the old people in congregations that were being forced to convert from hymns to praise songs.

There, I've filed my complaint and now I can move on. I suppose the longer I'm exposed to this new style of worship, the more I will adapt. It won't seem so foreign and obtrusive.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Thank You God for the Boat

1:15 p.m., December 27, 2006 - I had just gotten off the phone with my husband after returning from lunch at Arriba with a his aunt. It is what it sounds like - Mexican food. I had eaten a huge plate of nachos piled with refried beans, cheese, tomatoes, jalapenos, and sour cream. We had split a side of guacamole. I had left the restaurant feeling stuffed and uncomfortable as usual.

After hanging up the phone, I planned on going upstairs to be domestic. Since the boys still share a room, I have one room upstairs that I have called the guest room for a while. Basically it has a mattress set on top of those cheap metal rails with wheels. On top of that are a couple of ill-fitting sheets (as guests would attest) and mismatched blankets. I had crowned this bed with a turquoise, white and pink quilt my grandma had made for us for our wedding. And recently, going along with the grandparent theme, I have hung a pastel painting my grandpa made for us, as well as a needle point hanging also from my grandma. I also have her old sewing table in the room to which I was going at this time.

1:30 p.m. - I had just sat down at the sewing table and was looking at the situation with the pants. However, my insides started to ache beginning with intense heartburn down to abdominal cramps. I figured, what should I expect? I had just filled my stomach to capacity or more with gas producing Mexican food. I'll just lie down for a few minutes and it will eventually pass - literally.

It didn't. I mean I did go to the bathroom a few times. Ok, things should start moving. They aren't. Even though I couldn't stand up to walk, I came down to the kitchen to get some Tums. Tums always make me feel better. I passed the kids in the living room. Don't talk to mommy, mommy's sick. I went to my room and curled up in bed. But nothing. No change.

Ok, I'm pretty nauseous now and then, and I've been breathing deeply and probably too fast hoping the feeling will pass. Or maybe I'll just throw up. But no. Ok, I'll make myself throw up. Now, this was a first for me. I had only heard that you could stick your finger down your throat to induce vomiting. I've never been a fan of throwing up and I will normally do anything I can to avoid it. So I wasn't sure it would work. It worked well. Bye, bye, refried beans. Things should get better now. It's about 5:00 now and my husband was home. I'll go sit on the couch. Be positive.

5:30 p.m. - Ok, the couch is not comfortable. I'm going back to bed. The pain has not subsided at all. I lay in the fetal position and wonder if this might not be gas and/or constipation. I'm freezing, no I'm hot. I'm shaking constantly. My legs and arms are tingling and going numb (I found out later this was a result of the heavy breathing I'd been doing for 6 hours - I didn't have enough oxygen). I called my husband in to get on the internet and see what else it might be. He decides maybe it's my appendix and suggests maybe I should to go to the hospital. The hospital! For constipation? Forget it, I'm tough. This will eventually go away.

7:30 p.m. - God help me please, God help me please. Ok, God just take me home, if it's easier. Please. My husband comes in and hears me chanting my God help me prayer. He suggests again we should go to the hospital. No, I say. However, I suddenly heard in my head "I sent you a boat." Yes, yes. A boat. (For those not familiar, there is a joke about a guy in a flood on top of his house praying for God to rescue him - God sends a guy by in a boat, and a raft, etc. - he didn't take any of them because he was waiting on something that appeared more miraculous). Anyway, I called out to my husband to take me to the hospital, please. At least they can give me an enema or something.

7:45 p.m. - We, kids and all, park in the parking lot at the hospital and I get out. I'm about to cry as the hope of pain relief is in sight. I hobble into the ER praying no one is ahead of me. The place seemed empty. They took down my list of symptoms and sent me to the triage nurse who also took down my list of symptoms. Was the first a deposition? And now they are trying to catch me in a lie if I can't repeat what I told the first guy? I felt like if I missed something, I might get sent home. Now come to think of it, every new person I met that night asked me the same questions. Are they not writing this down?

Thankfully they believed me. Probably because, by this time, the pain had caused me to enter my own little world. Yes, I have a heartburn feeling. I get my heartburn feeling at KMART. Oh, she's asking me another question. Hmm. What was the question? I'm cold. I've got to go the bathroom. No, she says, not yet. I'm thinking, What? What if going to the bathroom is the end of my troubles, and they aren't going to let me? Apparently, they want me to pee in a cup down the hall.

They put me in a wheel chair and took me to a dark room where nurses finally start scurrying around and poking me with needles. They take my blood, give me an IV and begin administering pain killers and anti-nausea medicine. I'm still cold and shaking. They get me warming blankets. That's nice. Ooh, the pain is starting to subside a bit. And I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep.

At one point they tell me my husband is going to take the kids home. It's about 11:30. They put me in a new room because they need the other room for someone else. The bed here is more comfortable they say. Not really, but I'm not complaining. I've got drugs now. The heartburn is still there. They give me some kind of Mylanta cocktail. Ah, that's better.

The next events turned into a groggy, out-of-body experience. I swear I went to the bathroom and stood staring at the toilet for about an hour. The nurse said I didn't. At one point, I was taken for x-rays where I remember the x-ray tech saying she was in the hospital last Friday night for what I have . What did you have, I asked? The flu, she says. Are you kidding me? I came to the hospital for the flu? I'm a wimp.

The doctor gets the x-ray back and says she thinks maybe my intestines are twisted. They think while there is no stool blockage, there may be gas blockage. Nice. So I just need to...umm...pass gas. I knew it. They want to do a CAT scan to confirm. They actually had me sign a form to allow this. Really? I mean, I was not in my right mind. What was the point? I'd sign anything to make it all go away. Cut of my right hand, you say? Sure, why not? Sign, sign, sign.

The CAT scan was a little weird. I was supposed to listen to a voice that told me when to breathe in and when to breathe out and when to hold my breath. It wasn't loud enough. And I'm trying to sleep. Did he say breathe in? No, I'm supposed to hold now. Hmm, I must have passed the test because they took me back to my new little dark room.

3:00 a.m., December 28, 2006 - The doctor enters in a flurry. She's excited. They've figured it out. I didn't read the book, she says. I've got appendicitis. They are positive. Look at the CAT scan; look at my white blood cell count. And I've got a low grade fever. And where do you feel the most pain? She asks. I point to my right lower abdomen now. See, the pain wasn't localized, she says. Once we took care of the heartburn pain, now it's more obvious. I will have surgery, she says. When? I ask. At 7:00 a.m., in four hours. Ok, I'll think about that when I wake up.