Tuesday, September 19, 2006

My Son, The Mop

My boys like to “celebrate” at a restaurant whenever their dad comes back from being out of town. So last night we went to Applebee’s.

Everything was fine until the inevitable declaration by our 4 year old halfway through the meal that he needed to go to the restroom. Neither my husband nor I are ever thrilled to visit restaurant bathrooms during dinner, but he was squirming enough to make it necessary. Fortunately, our 7 year old son was squirming also and was willing to take his little brother. So off they went. Being a responsible father, my husband feels he can only allow them a few moments of independence so he got up to check on them.

As competitive boys, they often go into the same stall and, umm…, pee at the same time. Maybe to see who can go the fastest, the longest…who knows, I’m a girl and girls pee alone. So as my husband enters the bathroom, he finds splashes and puddles on the floor around the toilet…the general filth he usually describes to me after going into some men’s restrooms. He also finds Michael (7) already finished and standing outside of the stall. Apparently they had finished the competition, but his brother was still in the stall doing the other thing. So my husband immediately tries the stall door to see if Jonathan needs any help. It’s locked.

The conversation then goes something like this:

Dad: “Why is the door locked?”
Michael: “Because I locked it for him.”
Dad: “How did you lock the door and still be on this side?”
M: “I locked it from the inside and then I crawled out underneath the door.”
Dad (astonished and grossed out): “You crawled on your hands and knees out from under the door!!”
M (proudly): “No way dad! I slid out on my back!”

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