Monday, January 22, 2007

I Tried Raising My Hand During Worship Once

In regard to raising my hand while singing in church...I did try it...once.

I had just returned from a Women of Faith retreat. Two days of continuously singing praise songs mixed with inspirational messages. So the next day at church I was singing with the praise team up front and I thought, Why not?

Therefore, as I was singing with my eyes closed, I raised up my hand. Now I must have stunned God since he knew I might not ever try it again. So He took that opportunity to rain down some extra living water. Literally, I'm bawling in front of the whole church. Obviously, I can't sing anymore. So I'm relegated to bowing my head and praying...not a bad thing, but not planned. And no, my hand was not up anymore.

My pastor/worship leader was, of course, elated. Emotional displays during church are proof to him that the Holy Spirit officially manifested himself. He could be right, but I wouldn't consider that the only sign.

P.S. You should know, although I can't always control when the tears will flow, that I really hate crying in front of people. Not necessarily because I'm afraid of them knowing something is wrong or that something has touched my heart, but for a much more vain reason.

I am not attractive when I cry, bordering on ugly. My nose immediately turns hot and red before any tears show up. And then when the tears do eek out, they burn and my eyes turn into little red, puffy slits. Not exactly the look I'm going for. But certainly a humble one. Who can have pride in their heart when looking like that?

Speaking of pride...

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